GRRR!!!

no one checks the bloody blog anymore!!!!!!!!! why??? i feel like i'm in a bubble of no-knowing-what-you're-all-up-to. yes, it does exist.

CIAO4NOW
-KB

Step Up

Step Up

So I slept in because my alarm didn't go off. My mom woke me up all disappointed and stuff and I drifted right back off. For a minute, maybe. She woke me up again, saying
'Kendra, when you sleep in you get to wake up and get going.'
'Sorry' I said. 'i kinda just fell asleep.'
She shook her head.
So i got up, went searching for a pair of pants, decided i didn't want to wear jeans just then and threw on a pair of sweats. Then I grabbed a blue shirt and pulled that over my head before reaching for my make up. I'd just grabbed my eyeliner when my I heard my mom again.
'You know Kendra, I can't take driving you, then talon, then the boys, all at five minute intervals -(me)I'll walk.- and never getting to the things I need to do. Step Up.'
I'd just like to point out that in this whole year, I have walked 8 out of 10 days, if not more. Talon is driven everyday. Kohl and Max are driven everyday. Talon is driven home most days. They come home and play, and do their jobs (badly) when reminded, then fight each other, unless they're not around each other.
I wake up, get ready in 10 minutes or less, walk to school (which takes 10 minutes and consists of classes i'm having issues with and a college course) without eating breakfast, come home, eat something, smile at my family, sit in my room (a synonym would be 'hide'), come out and do my job (this week its clean the bathroom), eat dinner, shower, then go back to my room.
So, other than avoiding excessive family contact, i really don't see the problem hear. I mean, i'm sorry i don't have one of those nifty internal alarm clocks that some people have, but my alarm didn't go off, and i didn't magically wake up. whoops.
I guess i need to step up.

Night Before Rain Fall

There is something about rain makes my heart sing no matter what mood i am in. I guess it is just that water that is so applicable to my life. A dark side is always associated because of the cold wetness of it all. The dark clouds can cover the sun- the only bright object in the distance that now casts shadows on the pavement. The pavement that you are forced to look at because the cold dirty sprinkles are threatening their way in your eyes and leave crusty marks on your face when they dry.
The important part is to not only make it through the rain, but to realize it's cleansing power. It's healing power. Rejuvenating my world with sparkles and glimmers on my beloved trees and greenery. When you inhale you can smell the rain. It's like earth. Pure, clean earth. The kind you are not afraid to roll around in. Somehow you can sense something that feels a lot like hope in the crack of a sidewalk or a puddle on the ground. There is something to look forward to.
I don't know why the clouds are rolling in right now as i am starting to fall back down again. Jedi said i was happy for almost a month and a half. It's not like i have anything to be ungrateful for either. He has a job, we have food on the table, God is definitely smiling down on us. I just don't have purpose to my life anymore. I live for my husband in any way i can. Until two thirty everyday i sleep as long as i can so i don't have to wait, clean and re-clean the house, bake, try to look flattering for him when he's off work.
I need a better purpose than this. I've applied so many places for work but i don't hear back from any of them. I feel like this is the night before a huge storm. Bad, and on it's way to being worse, but then it should sky rocket.
Don't get me wrong. Jedi is the perfect depression pill. He's the reason for all joy in my life, all laughter in my life, and maybe just my life in general. He is loyal and strong and caring. I could have never asked for anyone better than he. I'm so glad i found him.
It's not Jedi that makes this sad spell come over me. I've just never really been a happy person since i started ninth grade. The world holds little pleasure for me, and the pleasure it offers i cannot think of getting such as two Disneyland tickets or being in a play.

Enough with depressing things and gray heavy clouds over my head. Let it rain. Let it poor. I am still happy in most ways.

The importance of family is hitting me right now. I have an odd sense that I'm not going to be on this earth for as long as most people. I know i don't exactly click with my family, except for my dad. Everyone else i have to work with. I never thought having a relationship with my sister would be so challenging. She is very proper. She doesn't do thing that are "socially unacceptable." So basically she can't understand me. My goofy side. My angry side. I feel as if i must be top notch and chipper around her. Like i can't slip and be myself. I just don't want her to go home to her husband that night and say things about me that are negative. She's kind of my role model. She is what i should have become instead of who i am. But i am who i am.
There is really only one person who understands my many different levels and complexities. Her name is Girl and she lives in my parents backyard.
Second to my dog is my husband, and while he still makes few mistakes he isn't as hairy so i guess he'll do.
I've divided my personality into three basic parts. Sofee is my brain. All logic and reasonable thinking are her area of expertise. Cascade is my body. The instinct and animalistic side to me. She's the rude one, the rebellion that cannot hold her tongue. Then there is Bekah. She's the heart. The raw emotion inside me. She is much like a child.
When you put them into one body they tend to takes sides with each other. For example, if we put Bekah's embarrassment of being over weight with Sofee's logic of not eating at midnight they cancel out Cascade's want for a yummy cupcake. That is probably the most basic form they come in.
Before i go, I must apologize for my ideas not flowing. I haven't written in so long i just had to get it down so it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to.
Maybe I'll go to the park tomorrow. I'll think of flowers and animals that talk and I'll be completely safe for a while.

My Dearest Future Husband

My Dearest Future Husband

My dearest future husband there’s something I have to say

You see, I’m still in high school and I had a real bad day!

I don’t have many friends, and the ones I’ve got don’t like me,

I think they falsely stick around then stab my back to spite me.

My mom and I got in a fight about my college fund

She thinks I’m wasting too much time (like writing my husband!)

If only you were here right now, there’s so much I would say

Or maybe you’d just kiss my lips and tell me it’s okay.

I just can’t help but wonder- how things would be with you,

Maybe I’d never be alone or otherwise feel like pooh.

Just betting on how you’ll love me keeps me sane at night,

And knowing that you’re out there can make me see that light.

So now my future Husband I hope you’re still awake,

Maybe writing you right now was just a big mistake.

Until that blessed day comes know I’m forever yours,

But for now I guess I’ll do my homework and some chores.

I’ve never met you before but how I miss you so,

You could call me crazy (but that I think you know.)

Here is goodbye my beloved, until we finally meet,

I hope that you’ll be charming and sweep me off my feet.

For now, just know I always am thinking of you dear:

Same as I always do and I’ll wish that you were here.

Perhaps I’ll get some sleep now, since I’m not on my own.

And hope that you will do the same, sleep with me all alone.

IF

IF

If I could tell you how much I love you,

I’d put it into words,

I’d tell you.

I’d sing it to the world every day too,

I’d sing it to the birds,

Sing to you.

I’d stand on top of roofs and on mountains,

I’d shout to the heavens

Just for you.

I’d Gurgle in pools, in every fountain,

I’d babble in the seven,

“Yes I do!”

If I could express my feelings for you,

I’d leave nothing unheard,

“I Love You!”

Date in a Box

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzIi00VtVZ4
I'm posting I'm posting! Golly Gee!
We're doing alright. Hanging on every dollar and we're probably going to be short this month by 120 bucks or so but HEY!
It's weird to really feel "hungry."
I've been looking for a job like crazy but first i think we need to get me a new lap top. I'll sell this one because it isn't a bad one it just doesn't have the best processor.
Jedi's birthday was "the best he's ever had" so I guess that is a good thing. Ew i am married to an old man.
Loves
Rebekah and Jedi

NO ONE IS POSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its getting really weird. . . I thought I was the one who never posted. Well, me and Mat:):)(luv jou i promise!!) talks to's me people!!! Its weird not knowing what you're up to!!
Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!!!!

finished story!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell me what you think!!!

Zoids: Restoring Ancients Times



They'd knocked me unconscious, handcuffed my hands behind my back, loaded me into a van, and hauled me to their super secret military base that I totally wasn't scoping out the day before. -Okay, maybe I was, but its not like I was going to blow the place up.- Then they stuck me in this little dark room with this blue haired guy in captains uniform who wouldn't stop with the questions.

At least, I'll assume that’s the order that it happened in, because here i am in a freaking box of a room, sitting in a really cold metal chair, with a blue haired weirdo who's about to yell himself blue in the face.

"What's your name girl?" Mr. Blue asked me for what was literally the 17th time. 17th- I’m serious.

“What’s your name girl!” He yelled angrily. Apparently he got impatient while I was counting. That’s 18 by the way.

My handcuffs scraped at my wrists as Captain Blue grabbed the front of my shirt, yanking my half-way out of my chair.

“Answer me you filthy little-“

“You don’t get to know my name you twisted ugly monkey!” I yelled back, cutting him of mid sentence. The chair crashed to the floor as I exploded out of it, head butting Mr. Blue in the face.

His eyes glazed over as he reeled backwards, tripping over air –gravity still works buddy, you didn’t need to check- and landing on the floor with a thud.

Meanwhile, I was reeling back too –hitting somebody with your head really hurts- and I tripped over the chair that was 2 inches behind me. –ha, a chair! I already know how gravity works, thank you very much- I landed hard on my back, or more specifically, my arms, at a really weird angle, and smacked my head a good one.

I’m pretty sure that’s when I blacked out, because the next thing I was aware of was some really scratchy blanket and a loud beeping. I sat up, automatically reaching for my throbbing head, –did I mention I hit it front and back? - and discovered my hands were free. Then I got to find out that my right arm was either broken or really badly bruised because it started screaming at me for reaching for my head. Joy.

“Ouch!” I complained, my eyes shooting open. Before I could hurt myself anymore than I was, I lay down, my right arm tucked across my chest. I ran my left hand over my injured forearm, pressing gingerly.

“Ouch!” I squeaked –again- when I found the tender center. Breathing a sigh of relief, I stretched my arm tentatively. It was pretty big, and I was going to have it for a while, but it was only a bruise. I must’ve hit the ground a lot harder than I’d thought. –No ones ever accused me of being a peach- Oh well. That’s what I get for getting caught. Karma.

This just proves my theory about the universe. Do good things and good things will happen. Do bad things and bad things will happen. Getting caught was a bad thing, hence the bruise.

The loud beeping I’d heard when I regained consciousness started up again. -obnoxiously- Clapping the hand of my good arm to my head, I sat up –slowly- so I could find the source and shut the dang thing off.

For the first time, I was able to get a good look at my surrounding. The door was across the room from me, and it looked pretty solid. Metal –I’d guess steel- with a small iron grate at about eye level –for taller people anyways- and it swung inwards. Pretty standard military stuff. Besides the bed, there really wasn’t much else in there, except for a camera in the top corner on the left side of the door.

Seriously. They put a camera on me. There weren’t even any windows in there, and it’s not like I could pick the lock.–not that I wasn’t going to try-

I debated standing up to turn the stupid thing off, but I thought better of it. Instead, I turned onto my side, being careful not to put pressure on my arm –ouch- , to inspect the bed leg closest to me. Conveniently, it was a cheap bed with a bare metal frame and screws that poked out of the sides. –yesh, the military is cheap-

I unscrewed the washer that held the top nail I place and sat up straight. Placing the washer on my right palm, I took careful aim and flicked it straight at the camera. The lens shattered and the beeping did that rally weird slowing down thing that robots do when they shut off.

“Nothin but net!” I exclaimed, throwing my arms into the air.

“Oww!” I yelled, cradling my bruised arm.

“I really need to watch what I’m doing,” I said to myself. Ding! –I imagined a purple light blub going off above my head. . . – I threw my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. I blinked for a moment, then bent and pulled the blanket off the bed as soon as I stopped seeing stars. I dropped it onto the floor and turned to the broken camera. Picking up the longest shard I could find –which was barely and inch long- I spread out the blanket and pulled it tight, pinning down with my feet.

I adjusted my grip on the glass and cut a long strip from the blanket. When I had what I wanted, I threw the blanket strip over my shoulder and tied it into a sling. I was still wearing my same clothes, which was something. Same black long sleeve shirt, black leggings, blue skirty thingy –it reaches my knees, but only in the front and back. On the sides it reaches just past my hips. I think that means it’s a loincloth, but that word sounds really weird to me-, and black boots.

“Perfect,” I said with a grin.

Bang, bang, bang crashed the door as someone knocked. –Ever so politely-

They must’ve come to fix the camera I thought as I stepped to the side of the door. Just as my back touched the wall, I heard the grate open with a little snick.

"Hey, move away fro- wait! Where is she!" Yelled a very panicked guard. The door opened, placing my conveniently between it and the wall. -I totally didn't plan that (lie) - The guard rushed straight to the mattress and tossed it off the bed. -Because I totally could've hidden there without leaving me shaped lump-

I giggled quietly and stepped out from behind the door. The guard's back was turned to me as he bent franticly to check under the bed, so I figured I'd let him find out where I was for himself. I turned down the hall, shutting the door behind me.

I skipped down the hall, pondering my next move. Coming to a fork in the road, I spun slowly in a circle, naming my options. Hall, hall, hall, vent! I choose option 4, and pulled myself up into a vent that was just within my 5'3 height range -if I jumped- and was easily my size. -Getting up without squeaking was a pill though, considering I had to use my bruised arm-

Ten minutes later I had successfully navigated the vent system and was staring at the ginormic hangar doors across the, um, hangar. Oh, and every freaking alarm in the building had been set off.

Scanning the room thoroughly, and finding myself alone, I popped out the grate in front of my eyes and touched ground at a run. Reaching the small side door that stood next to the hunormous ones, I stared intently at its electric padlock. 1 2 3 4 5 6. I punched in the numbers and the doors opened. First try. -oh yes, I’m awesome like that- I laughed -seriously, what kind of password is that? - and darted through the open door.

Now I just had to get through the closed gate that I didn't know how to open. I picked up the pace, deciding to cross that bridge when I got to it. Two steps later, the gate began to open; I wasn't even within throwing range yet.

Wow that was convenient I thought as a military jeep driven by none other than Mr. Blue drove through. Following was a blue blade liger and a red and black command wolf bringing up the rear.

"This should be fun," I muttered to myself.

The jeep screeched to a halt in front of me, and Mr. blue stood up in his seat.

"You stop!" he yelled.

I jumped onto the jeeps hood and smiled at him.

"No dice, sweet checks." I told him, grabbing the crash bar and swinging myself up to the blade ligers cockpit.

"Excuse me," I said, grinning at the ligers pilot, and jumping to the command wolf, then to the gate, then down to the hot sands of the dessert.

"I win!" I yelled. I was so out of there.

this is the beginning of the story i started today :):):) part 1

They'd knocked me unconscious, handcuffed my hands behind my back, loaded me into a van and hauled me off into their super secret military base that I totally wasn't scoping out the day before. -Okay,maybe I was, but its not like I was going to blow the place up.- then they stuck me in this little dark room with this blue-haired guy in a captain's uniform who wouldn't stop with the questions.